Lesson learned: never brag about personal skills at work.
Crash overheard me say that I could eat an entire pizza by myself. So naturally he dared me to do so and make a blog about it.
CHALLENGE: To eat an entire Papa Murphy's Heartbaker Pizza by myself on Valentine's Day
EXECUTION: The following is my emotional journey through six slices of ginormous heart-shaped pizza.
00:01 - Oh, this is really good!
00:02 - One slice down.
00:03 - Two slices! I regret nothing.
00:05 - Three slices down. Doin' good.
00:07 - Maybe I should have paced myself better...
00:08 - Four slices. HALFWAY THERE.
00:09 - I definitely should have taken off all of this pepperoni.
00:12 - Coke #2.
00:15 - Five slices down!
00:18 - I have slowed down considerably.
00:20 - I MUST SHOW HIM.
00:25 - Maybe standing up will help...
00:30 - Six slices.
00:35 - I regret everything.
CONCLUSION: DO NOT ATTEMPT. IT IS NOT WORTH THE ANGUISH AND TEARS YOU WILL ENDURE.
Henceforth I will definitely be keeping my mouth shut around the office.